Hurry up and wait

  I am swamped by an ever growing to do list to keep this adoption process moving.
I don't do well with things hanging over my head.  It keeps me up at night constantly turning what I need to accomplish the next day.
   I feel like I am drowning
Drowning in paperwork, completing our profile book, fundraising, reading required texts,
I am overwhelmed
   Overwhelmed with excitement, questions, anxiety about the unknown
My mind is constantly going in circles on what is left to be done
      Well what's left that is in my control

I know all the hurry is soon going to turn into a time of waiting. I know at that point I will probably wish I had something I could be working on because just waiting is hard. Really hard! But at the same time I feel like the waiting will be better than this - because I will have done all I could do. It will no longer be in my hands (as if it is truly even in my hands now).Through it all I know this is a race worth running.  My precious son or daughter is waiting for me. I wonder what he or she looks like! I can't wait to feel those warm baby snuggles and introduce him or her to her amazing big brother. I can't wait to pour my life into another human being!

For now I will keep marking one thing at a time.
I will keep loving on my blue eyes boy who calls me mama
I will keep laying awake at night wondering what you look like.
I will keep praying your birth mom has such an overwhelming peace that we already love you.
 I will keep constantly reminding myself it will happen in Gods perfect timing and all of my what ifs will be answered and whatever happens happens