We are ..... APPROVED!!!!!

In all actuality seeing the word Approved is a bit of a dream come true. At times this adoption has felt like a dream that we just keep waiting and waiting to come true. Sometimes I have to remind myself that it really is happening, and it WILL really happen one day... One day we WILL meet our son or daughter. Right now - we are approved. We have done everything we have been asked to do. Formal Application - Complete
Physicals, Tests - Complete
Joint Interview - Complete
 Individual Interviews - Complete
Training hours - Complete
All three required texts read - Complete
Home Study - Complete Creating our profile book - Complete
Creating our online web profile - Complete
 all of the thousands hundreds of forms filled out and turned in - Complete
The Maliskas Family is now Approved to adopt! Insert screams and squeals of excitement if you will. Along with the words Approve comes a sense of peace - that we have done all that has been asked of us. That it is 100% out of our hands (not that it was ever in our hands to begin with) There are no more forms we need to come up with or steps we need to complete. Everything.is.done. EXCEPT Meeting our sweet son or daughter - With those feelings of peace come intense waves of anxiety. It.Is.Out.Of.My.Hands To be quite transparent I walk around continuously battling keeping the questions and anxiety at bay - constantly yelling out to Christ within my mind - Take this - You know the answers - You already know our story - It is so easy to give into the questions that so often creep in and keep me awake at night. When will we meet our son or daughter? Days, Months, Years? How will we be able to minister to the birth family? Will it be both mom and dad? What if they change their mind? How will our little man adapt to a baby brother or sister? Have we prepared him enough? What will our little one look like? Will I have enough time off work to bond? Will we bond easily? Believe me .... you don't want me to go on. There is so much left unknown. At times I struggle with unbelief that this will actually really happen. That we will actually meet our son or daughter and begin our lives as a family of four. There are so many risks that I choose to not focus on but give to the Lord. He has graciously led us through this process and I fully believe he will carry us to the end. He will take care of all of the questions that I so longingly desire to be answered. He has already taken care of the teeny, tiny, details.... he just hasn't revealed them to me yet. So for now ... we will bask in the excitement of being approved .... and we will wait to get THE call that we have been matched....
The best way I know how to explain it is by saying - Think about the joy you feel as you nervously look down at the pregnancy test and see the words Pregnant ...and combine that pure joy with the anxiety that accompanies the final days before you are set to deliver For us.. it could be any day. We could get a call this hour or we could wait 6 months, a year. It is so hard to be excited, but also not allow yourself to get excited in hopes of guarding your heart for the wait to come. So for now - We have our diaper bag packed - diapers, wipes, burp cloth, bib, bottle, blanket And we wait for the Lord to reveal his plan man my heart aches just typing that - fully understanding that we wait for the Lord's timing.... not ours. Pray with us through this time of waiting. We could use it. If you feel led - share our story And if you are moved to do more - support our adoption - We can't do this alone. No matter how much we have saved, or raised through fundraisers and hope to raise through grants - we still need help.  http://www.gofundme.com/maliskas