He makes beautiful things - he makes beautiful things out of the dust

 He makes beautiful Things - he makes beautiful things out of the dust
  Beautiful things out of tragic situations
Beauty admist the silence
It has been over a month since I have made any updates regarding our adoption.
   I have hesitated on whether or not this update should even be made.
Adoption is not really about us. In certain ways it is - but in the big scheme of things, its not.
  Adoption was never intended to be about us. And as I continue to struggle through the wait the Lord has revealed this to me more and more. Ultimately, the Lord is entrusting this child in our hands for us to raise in way that brings Him Glory.
 Two months:
 We have had our profile book shown for over two months now. This part of our adoption journey has been an emotional roller coaster. We have had times of peace, excitement, anxiety, and sorrow. At times it has been far too silent and yet at other times it has been full of excitement only to be followed by disappointment. They tried to prepare us for this, but it is one of those things you just don't understand until your in it. Yet - we  will continue to praise Him in the hallway as we wait for him to open the next door.
Why? Because Despite all of the unanswered questions, despite that the future of our little one still is so unknown we rejoice in the fact that the Lord is Faithful.
 
    Last week we were made aware of a young birth mom who has requested to view our profile book along with 10 others. She will be viewing these profile books on Friday April 25th.
  T W E L V E  llllooooonnnnngggg days from now.  There are many aspects that I cannot share that appear to be just what we have been praying for for such a long time now. In ways it seems too good to come true - and in ways I am reminded that what may appear perfect in my eyes may not be perfect in the Will of our Lord.  This is where you come in. Yes - You - you didn't think I was going to let you just read and walk away did ya ??
 Today We ask for You to join in with us and commit yourselves to prayer for the next twelve days.
 I do not mean praying when you think about it. I mean committing yourself to spending time each and every day praying over specific request.
    We are desperate for believers to join us in praying :
For this young birth mom who is facing such a beautifully tragic time in her young life. Pray the Lord would reveal his presence to her and her family. Pray the Lord would continue to guide her through this adoption process and provide her with wisdom and peace on the decisions she will be making.We rejoice in the fact that she has chosen adoption.
* Pray the Lord would prepare the hearts of the sweet family that will receive the blessing of this baby.
* Pray that if it be the Lord's will that this would be our baby. Pray the if it be the Lord's will this young girl would feel such overwhelming peace when viewing our profile book. That she would have no doubts and feel confidently about her decision.
* Pray the Lord would direct her steps into choosing the right family (whether or not it be ours :/) to parent the child she still carries in her womb. That she would have no hesitation or confusion, but would know clearly that it is the right family and that everyone involved would feel the same.
* Pray the the Lord would provide us with substantial peace over these next twelve days as we pray and anxiously await for the Lord to reveal his plan. I cannot begin to express how important this prayer is to me as it is somewhat of a war within my heart to keep my thoughts from wandering one way or another.
* Pray that the Lord would protect our hearts from falling in love with this "could be ours baby" (too late.....) if it not be his will for us to parent this child. That if  at the end of this we learn this is not our sweet baby the Lord would comfort us in ways that only he can.

   As I struggle to find peace in the unknown of how life could possibly change (in beautiful ways)  in the next twelve days I am reminded it is nothing like the struggle our Lord endured in the days to come as we remember his gruesome death on Good Friday. I am also reminded of his captivating Love for me despite whether or not I understand his plan.
    I thank you for committing yourself to covering our family and this young girls family in prayer. It is the support and encouragement we need and I am sure this family will need as well.
 

Fully Funded

    Praise be to God we are now fully funded.
   How incredibly freeing that feels. We along with dear friends have prayed and prayed the Lord would provide every cent needed for this adoption. At time I felt the annoyance from people around me seeing yet another fundraiser we had, but I stood firm in the understanding of our call to adoption and our role of being obedient. At times I felt the disbelief others had that we would really be able to raise the full amount. Yet - through being wise about our money, sticking to a budget we were able to save a good amount (even after cutting my paycheck  by more than half) and we remained obedient in raising funds through fundraisers and sharing our stories - - - and the Lord was faithful as he always is and has provided every last cent needed for our adoption. He has blessed us through others generosity and compassion.
       Just yesterday I was reading through Hebrews 11 and walking by faith
 In Hebrews 11 we see that
 By faith Abel offered to God a more acceptable sacrifice than Cain
 By faith Enoch was taken up so that he should not see death, and he was not found
 By faith Noah, being warned by God concerning events yet unseen, in reverent fear constructed the ark
By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to a place that he was to receive as an inheritance and he went out not knowing where he was goin
 By faith Sarah herself received power to conceive, even  when she was past the age
By faith Abraham offered up Issac
By faith, Moses when he was born was hidden for three months by his parents
By faith the people crossed the Red Sea as on dry land, but the Egyptians when they attempted to do the same, were drowned
By faith the walls of Jericho fell down after they were encircled for seven days

Andy and I have been called to adopt - and we must walk by faith through this adoption
  Verse 6 says And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.

   Yesterday I realized that if I were to walk by faith it meant I shouldn't worry about getting the rest of the funds, when we would meet our son or daughter, whether or not I would have enough time away from work to bond with my son or daughter (before a bond was created with someone else - this is by far my biggest area of worry/fear) and all of the other little details that accompany adoption.
    I am to be faithful in our call to adopt and the Lord will take care of the rest
         Today - he again reminded me of this through a very dear and gracious donor donating the last amount needed.

 Thank you to all who have been so diligent in asking about updates for the adoption.
It is so very encouraging to know it is on the hearts of those around us.
  We know there are birth mothers possibly choosing adoption for their children due in the next few months. We pray the Lord would allow one of these babies to be our son or daughter if it be his will.

In the waiting...

  It has been just under three weeks since we received our approval and our profile book began being shown to expecting parents. Three weeks that at times have felt more like three months :)
 Just the thought of the phone possibly ringing at any moment to tell us we have been matched is enough to drive one crazy.
      The first week I most definitely had my heart skip a beat every time I received a phone call or text. The day we received our approval I began praying the Lord would make his presence known to me in our time of waiting. He has without a doubt revealed his presence to me day in and day out.
  He has so graciously done so  in ways I hadn't expected. One day it came through an encouraging text from a friend Or seeing Chick Fil A packed full of people showing up to support our adoption. Another day it was through the Lord using a family to bless us immensely with their kindness and generosity in an unexpected way.
Yet, the most prevalent way I have felt his presence has been through my sweet little boy. Along with our approval came the understanding that at any minute with almost zero warning our little family of three can become a family of four. This understanding almost panicked me. Anyone who knows me will vouch for how I am a planner. I am most calm when I feel prepared. I worried how my little man would transition with little to no warning of a brother or sister coming home. I worried if I could be a good enough mom to two children. I worried and worried - and I hit my knees and prayed the Lord would take care of all of the teeny, tiny details that accompany adoption - that he would so beautifully orchestrate every detail we would know without a doubt everything was from the Lord's hand.
    So ... he used my son. To open my heart even more than I thought it could be opened - to teach me how amazing love is - and how it can just keep growing and growing and it never really reaches a limit. It cannot be contained by borders - He has changed my perspective from wondering when I might get to meet my new son or daughter to completely captivating me with the amazing son I already have!  He has reminded me the beauty of motherhood - the beauty of the parts that no one sees. The way he kisses me goodnight or brings me a book to read him. The way I can understand what his little toddler gibberish means when no one else does. The way he lights up when I walk in room. So many days this past week I have spent afternoons outside with my little one watching him play and learn. I have had such an overwhelming since of peace and joy that the Lord will bring our son or daughter when he is ready and thankfully not a minute before. I have an amazing son who calls me mama and a loving husband who knows how to make me smile. And that is enough for me today.
     The Lord has blessed me greatly with the joy of motherhood
  Blessed me with the gift of being called mama
  being the one he reaches up to hug
the one he walks around the house calling for
   the one he looks to for comfort
   the one who can make his face light up with just a glance

Although my heart still aches for my child to come - I have been given peace in the waiting (thus far)
      I will rest in the understanding that the Lord's timing is far more beautiful than my timing could ever be - so I will soak up every second with the ones he has blessed me with thus far and I will wait and pray for the one he will bless me with in time.

      And.... Just because I cannot believe we are this close - we only lack 1,500 of our ENORMOUS adoption fee! The Lord Provides and I know he will continue to provide this last amount!
BE apart of our story

We are ..... APPROVED!!!!!

In all actuality seeing the word Approved is a bit of a dream come true. At times this adoption has felt like a dream that we just keep waiting and waiting to come true. Sometimes I have to remind myself that it really is happening, and it WILL really happen one day... One day we WILL meet our son or daughter. Right now - we are approved. We have done everything we have been asked to do. Formal Application - Complete
Physicals, Tests - Complete
Joint Interview - Complete
 Individual Interviews - Complete
Training hours - Complete
All three required texts read - Complete
Home Study - Complete Creating our profile book - Complete
Creating our online web profile - Complete
 all of the thousands hundreds of forms filled out and turned in - Complete
The Maliskas Family is now Approved to adopt! Insert screams and squeals of excitement if you will. Along with the words Approve comes a sense of peace - that we have done all that has been asked of us. That it is 100% out of our hands (not that it was ever in our hands to begin with) There are no more forms we need to come up with or steps we need to complete. Everything.is.done. EXCEPT Meeting our sweet son or daughter - With those feelings of peace come intense waves of anxiety. It.Is.Out.Of.My.Hands To be quite transparent I walk around continuously battling keeping the questions and anxiety at bay - constantly yelling out to Christ within my mind - Take this - You know the answers - You already know our story - It is so easy to give into the questions that so often creep in and keep me awake at night. When will we meet our son or daughter? Days, Months, Years? How will we be able to minister to the birth family? Will it be both mom and dad? What if they change their mind? How will our little man adapt to a baby brother or sister? Have we prepared him enough? What will our little one look like? Will I have enough time off work to bond? Will we bond easily? Believe me .... you don't want me to go on. There is so much left unknown. At times I struggle with unbelief that this will actually really happen. That we will actually meet our son or daughter and begin our lives as a family of four. There are so many risks that I choose to not focus on but give to the Lord. He has graciously led us through this process and I fully believe he will carry us to the end. He will take care of all of the questions that I so longingly desire to be answered. He has already taken care of the teeny, tiny, details.... he just hasn't revealed them to me yet. So for now ... we will bask in the excitement of being approved .... and we will wait to get THE call that we have been matched....

Home Study... Complete - Next up .... More Waiting

All I wanted for my birthday was two things 1: Home study complete 2: Raise the money left for the adoption While I am fully aware the second was/is completely unrealistic I also fully understand we serve a mighty God and if he deemed it so it could be possible :) So hey why not dream! By the way - This adoption has a way of continually forcing me to remind myself of the Gospel Today we completed our home study. Our social worker came and "toured" our house room by room. She made notes of how medicine was up high, chemicals locked away, smoke detectors in rooms, carbon monoxide detector present, outlets covered, guns unloaded and locked away, fire extinguishers located, and the list goes on... I am grateful to say our house has been approved as Safe :) Afterwards we sat over coffee and reviewed our service plan (what our adoption looks like - what we are open to and not open to) We talked for another 40 minutes about where we go from here. So .... What now? Now we wait. Our main responsibilities are concluded (paperwork wise) We wait for our social worker to draft the approval of our adoption (a 15-17 page document). We were told today that it will take at least a month to draft and request approval. As we talked about some facts with adoption I started to come down from my Home Study Completed High and realize how long this journey may be. Here are the Facts * Despite all of the fees we have already paid (you pay something every step of the process) we still have 15,000 dollars we will be responsible for AT placement. Subtract what we have saved up or raised already and we have about 8,000 left to raise * Last year - 7 babies were placed with adoptive parents.... SEVEN in 365 days. This knocked me off my feet. My heart literally sank. She did say last year was a slow year but 2012 they placed 15. And how many families are waiting..... you dont.even.want.to.know I began to realize this might not happen as quickly as I thought/hoped * There is no Deadline, no delivery date, no end in sight. Once approved our profile book will be given to the pregnancy counselor and it will begin being shown to expectant parents. We could be matched as early as 2/3 hours after being approved or 2/3 years after being approved. I am pregnant without a due date! Let that sink in - in my heart I am expecting a son or daughter and already love him or her as my own - - - but I have no idea when I will meet him or her. Once we are approved - if the birth mom is from TN she cannot surrender her parental rights until 4 days after the birth (for hormone reasons) after she surrenders she still has ten days to change her mind. There is so much left unknown. So many things that only time will tell. But what I do know *I do know I serve a mighty Lord that already knows what my son or daughter looks like as he has created him/her with Andy, Judah, and I in mind. * I know that the Lord will bless us with our child in his perfect timing and not a second before it. Whether that be 3 months or three years from now * I know Judah is going to be an amazing big brother and I see lots of kisses coming our sweet son or daughters way. * I am beyond thankful I have such an encouraging husband to love and encourage me through this So what now Now - We wait We PRAY and we ask that you pray with us We pray the Lord would open up opportunities of time for our social worker to work on our draft of approval and she would be able to finish it and it be approved within a month We continue to pray we will meet the child the Lord created with us in mind in his perfect timing and we would be held at peace in the waiting We continue praying for the birth parents (BOTH OF THEM - Praying they will both be a part of the process because with only one comes MANY more complications - all of which the Lord can handle ... see how I keep having to remind myself of this) - We pray for our ministry towards them and that they be overwhelmed with complete peace when viewing our profile book. We pray the Lord would continue providing the funds We continue to be obedient in raising funds. Where you come in: We ask that you consider joining us in prayer over the above mentioned things. We ask that you share our story (whether by sharing this link or buying/wearing a shirt, or word of mouth) We ask that you consider/pray about supporting us financially. There are several ways you can support us financially 1: Through making a donation at www.gofundme.com/maliskas 2. Purchasing our adoption tee shirt at https://www.bonfirefunds.com/maliskas-family-adoption/?r=25940

Deadline for tee shirts is January 20th and shirts will only be printed by the organization if we have 50 shirts pledged. If not accomplished all money is reimbursed.Help us meet the 50 minimum requirement!

3. Consider purchasing an item from the Etsy Shop. Use Maliskas in the coupon code and we will receive 20% of your purchase. AND if you purchase an item by Friday January 17th (my birthday by the way) Sarah is throwing in a free gift Deadline for etsy shop is Jan 31 We are working with chick fil a on setting up a spirit night to raise money for the adoption in Feb. Hope to have a date tomorrow Though the journey may be long it will be one worth traveling. So for now we wait..... and I keep myself busy... And Keep this song on REPEAT "spirit lead me where my trust is without borders Let me walk upon the waters where ever you would call me Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander and my faith would be made stronger in the presence of my savior"

A plea for Help ..... a plea for peace

I sit hear wishing I could speak my heart with eloquent words and beautiful text, but am reminded that I am not called to make words beautiful, but to simply speak truth. And truth is what I give you: I need peace With only hours remaining before we welcome in a new year I find myself seeking Gods Peace. Seeking Peace as we so patiently wait for our home study to be completed. Seeking Peace as tomorrow becomes January 1st - when we should have been approved and ready to be "shown" to expecting families. Peace that we will meet our precious son or daughter this year and really overall seeking peace that the Lord will provide the thousands of dollars left to raise before our placement occurs. Throughout this whole adoption process I have to say that it is the daunting amount of money that leaves me feeling the most anxious, overwhelmed, and out of control. Yet, I know it is through this the Lord is teaching me most. Real Talk - Our adoption costs more than I make in a year. Woah - yep still seems as crazy as it sounds in my head to see it written on paper (or typed for that matter). But that is ok. Why? Because I know that in some way, some how, the money will be raised and the Lord will provide. How do I know this? Because the Lord specifically placed adoption on both Andy's heart and mine. Because the Lord has given us PEACE that we will meet our son or daughter through adoption. And mostly because I know 4 truths That the Lord is Great - so I don't have to be in control The Lord is Glorious - so I don't have to fear The Lord is Good - so I don't have to look elsewhere for satisfaction The Lord is Gracious - so I don't have to prove myself It has been through this Journey that the Lord has taught me what matters most. With the start of January comes the arrival of my mid-January birthday. My sweet husband has begun asking what I would like for my birthday. In all honesty, This year the only thing I want is to complete the home study and to raise the money needed. Sometimes I feel like I am repeatedly hitting my head into the wall with fundraising. But to be honest - the Lord has called us to adopt and we have committed ourselves to being obedient. Part of our obedience is being committed to raising money (along with praying, filling out forms, completing training, reading books, praying, praying, and sharing God's love for us through our adoption story) When someone asks me to tell them about our adoption the first thing that comes to mind is beautifully stretching. It has made me consider tough issues, made me get out of my comfort zone and realize I can not do it on my own. Made me ask for help. And through the help, love, and support of others I know we will be able to share how incredibly loved our son or daughter is. How people have loved this sweet baby before knowing anything about him or her. People who do not even know Andy and I have shown support and love for our sweet child. I know that we were not meant to do this alone. And in that I find peace. Peace in people opening their hearts to help us raise money. Like Amy S who has an Etsy Shop called Savinggrace28. She has generously opened up her shop to help raise money for our adoption. She is graciously donating 20% of profit for all customers who enter the coupon code Maliskas at checkout (Until January 31st!!!) https://www.etsy.com/shop/savinggrace28?section_id=11424402&page=2 Or the organization Bonfire Funds who is donating money to our adoption through the purchase of each of our adoption tee shirts sold. Our adoption shirt looks like this

and you can order one at this website Deadline January 20th https://www.bonfirefunds.com/maliskas-family-adoption/?r=25940 We chose the wording "One More Loved" as we are working to welcome a sweet, innocent baby into our family and show him or her the love of the Lord and family. One more child provided with a stable, safe, nurturing home. One more person that opens our hearts to love again. One more birth mom who is shown love in the midst of heartache. Who is shown the love of Christ in a time of darkness. Love is woven in and out of our journey. Love is what we cling to. Love is what we will teach this sweet baby - the love of Christ, the love of family, and the love of friends. How love brings people all over the world, who know nothing about one another to support this adoption, to love this child. Despite the unknown of what this year holds I ask that you consider praying for us as we wait to meet the child the Lord has created us to have. I ask that you consider purchasing an item from Savinggrace28 or a tee shirt to help spread our story, and that you would consider spreading our story. For Christ loved us and we will love others. and in times when my soul is anxious, fearful, unsure, and overwhelmed I will find peace in knowing "the Lord makes his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord lifts up his countenance upon you and give you peace."- Numbers 6:25-26 John 14:27 - "Peace I leave with you: my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid." https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=3QRXF44NB5QDW