The story of how we met

 Oh how I have waited for this very day.... how many times I imagined how it would play out... how everything would unfold. Truth be told, I always knew it would be better than I all the scenarios I thought up....
 
   Throughout this whole adoption journey the Lord has revealed himself to me in new ways. He has allowed me to ache deeply in order for me to thirst more for only the peace he can offer.


Where our story began ....
  6 pm December 30th we were called about a birth mom of a baby girl who would be viewing our profile the following day
  December 31st we received word that the birth mom did not show to view profiles ... at this point we had become familiar with this scenario and no longer thought anything of the situation.

Fast Forward to Wednesday, January 7th
    My sweet boss pulled me aside and began telling me about a two week old baby girl that happened to be in interim care with an amazing family at our school. I stopped her and asked the baby girl's name  - It soon came clear to me that this baby girl was the same baby we had gotten a call about. I couldn't believe it .... how small of a world that she would be placed in the care of parents of a child in our little school.
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That afternoon I saw her. She was tiny, beautiful, and absolutely perfect. and then my heart broke into a million pieces. I held myself together until I got home and then I fell apart. I didn't know why but she already had my heart. I tearfully contacted my closest friends and asked them to please pray she would find her forever family soon.

 Over the next week I continued to catch glimpses of her as her sweet interim mom came to pick up her son. I prayed and prayed for the family that would one day call her their own. I had such  peace that she would have a forever family even though it would most likely not be ours.

Thursday January 15th we had our yearly home study update. I sat with our case worker as s he asked how we were doing in the waiting ... I told her I was crumbling .... I was weary. She encouraged me and said she had hopes that it wouldn't be much longer...

The next morning January 16th I got a text saying birth mom would be coming in to view profiles. I was so excited for her and prayed the Lord would prepare their hearts while secretly wishing it could be us. At 10 pm that night we got the call that would change our life. "She choose you guys"
   Wait what??? I couldn't believe it. Her birth mom had really chosen us... not having any idea I had already met her and fallen in love. We discussed plans to meet her birth mom that coming Tuesday and the got off the phone. I sat in bed and shook for nearly an hour. God is more gracious and loving than I can dare to understand.

The following week was an emotional roller coaster. Our meeting with birth mom on Tuesday was cancelled and rescheduled for Thursday. Thursdays meeting was cancelled and rescheduled for the following Monday. Monday morning the meeting was nearly rescheduled again, but after some tears and prayers it was back on. That afternoon we spent two beautiful hours talking with baby girls birth mom. We talked about her dreams and hopes for baby girl and what the future might look like. We got to know her and begin forming a relationship with her.After tears and hugs we left and began preparing our home for our daughter.

 Three days later her birth mom courageously surrendered her rights in court and we were set to receive placement of our baby girl the following afternoon.

 Friday January 30th came (364 days after being approved as a waiting family) - the day I had waited for for so long. The day our daughter would come home. I had so many emotions running through me. Such peace and awe at seeing what the Lord had done and prepared for us. I will never forget the moment she was placed in our arms. She had on the most beautiful dress and she looked like a baby doll. We sat and just stared and talked to her, our case worker took pictures. we breathed in her sweet smell and we fell deeper and deeper in love.

Coming home was something I lack the ability to completely express... It was a perpetual state of bliss followed by heartache. The more I fell in love with my daughter - the deeper I grieved for her mother - the more humility I discovered in the gift of a mother choosing me to be the one her daughter calls mom... to see her first smiles, her first taste of food, her first steps... The more unworthy I feel to be given this gift.... the more grace I have for others.... the more of a weeping mess I have become.

     We have had her home for 11 days now and have officially made it through the revocation period. I have breathed out my last bit of breath that I had been holding on to. Welcome home baby girl .... welcome home.

 The Lord is infinitely gracious and compassionate. He chose to so delicately weave our stories together with such compassion and attention to detail. He poured his peace over me throughout the last month as we waited for today to come.  This whole adoption journey has been one filled with clinging to Lord moment by moment. It has been a quiet whisper of "Do you trust me" resounding in my soul. I must admit at some points I didn't ... at some points I was so weary. But the Lord is so faithful .... His works don't depend on my strength...instead he quietly leads us into a deeper understanding of his grace

Our story doesn't end here.... this is just the beginning
We know the Lord is at work in mighty ways through our family...
We know the Lord has brought our daughter and her birth mom in our lives for a specific purpose
Raising a daughter is terrifying......and yet the Lord has already begun quietly pulling my heart asking .... do you trust me?
Our prayers don't stop here ... our faith doesn't end now ....
 This is only the beginning  :)